Porsche claims that the Sport Chrono-equipped Turbo E-Hybrid will crack 60mph from a standstill in 3.4sec, which is one-tenth quicker than a Porsche Cayenne Turbo E-Hybrid. As with the handling, you’ll be hard-pressed to detect the shaved tenths of a second on the road, where the Cayenne remains blisteringly, almost anti-socially, fast.

Peak torque remains at a monstrously high 590lb ft and is available anywhere between 2000 and 4500rpm, which is just where you need it for devastating point-to-point pace. In combination with the slick eight-speed auto that has an uncanny ability to second guess your needs, it allows the Turbo to make mincemeat of the straights between corners and any cars that happen to be in your way, all of which will be left in the wake of your bellowing, belching optional sports exhaust.

You can also get the Coupe in S E-Hybrid trim. This also uses a V8 engine and plug-in powertrain, but power is reduced to 519bhp while the 0-60 is 4.7 seconds. Still plenty fast, then.

As mentioned, the S is now a V8 – with no hybrid intergration. This engine is magnificent, really. It’s fast, flexible, usable, exciting, comfortable and bombastic with the sports exhaust. Yes, it’s seen service in numerous VW Group products, but the Cayenne deals out its 443 lb ft of torque like a croupier at the Casino de Monte Carlo. 

The E-Hybrid is a 3.0-litre V6 PHEV. On paper, it’s just as fast as the V8 S but unless you need to reduce your BIK it’s not the one to go for. It transitions from petrol to electric smoothly and its integration with the gearbox is sublime. When it’s at full chat, the 176bhp electric motor decadently imbues the torque gaps of the 3.0-litre V6 and it feels like it’s doing a good enough impression of a V8. The problem that it’s just not as broad as the V8.

Boggo Cayennes come with an updated 3.0-litre V6. It feels torquier than the old one and is a sensible choice for those on a (relative) budget.

Yet for all its speed and ability, the Coupé still isn’t a fun car in the traditional sense. There’s satisfaction to be had from working its precise and honed controls and genuine awe at its otherworldly ability to devour any road you throw at it with such jaw-dropping composure, but the sense of connection isn’t deep enough and there’s always a nagging sense that the car is doing much of the work. But then it is a leviathan SUV and not a stripped-out sports car, so perhaps we’re being unfair.

Arguably a better indication of the sort of use the car is really intended for is revealed when you knock all the settings back. Row back from Sport Plus mode and the Cayenne Coupé is transformed into a hushed, relaxing and extremely rapid GT car. Even on mammoth 20in wheels, there’s a plushness to the ride, the air springs adding just enough waft, while only really ragged and torn Tarmac betrays those vast rims, when there’s a slight brittleness to proceedings. It’s quiet too, the outside world relegated to nothing more than a very distant whoosh around the door mirrors and the odd thump from the suspension over a particularly deep pothole or sharp ridge.